• Circulate among the groups as they read and respond to the drafts. Observing them will help you identify students who need specific help with doing more research, focusing their details and discussion, and/or organizing their material. If necessary, take them aside into a separate group for assistance. If time permits, read all the drafts yourself and record at least two questions and/or observations for each writer.

Focus Question: How do you revise a cause-and-effect article for publication?

Part 1

“During this lesson you will revise and edit your cause-and-effect article for publication.” Model the peer review process on a sample of writing by using a class copy of a sample article or a peer-review worksheet (LW-6-3-3_Peer Review.doc). Have students help you select evidence from the article to illustrate each point (i.e., an introduction that “hooks” the reader’s interest and addresses an appropriate audience; a main-idea statement that focuses on the causes or effects of the particular topic; well-organized body paragraphs with supporting details; a conclusion [three to four sentences in length] that maintains the reader’s interest, summarizes the main points, and uses a writing strategy, such as ending with a narrative, a provocative question, a quotation, or a prediction). Be certain that students understand that one key purpose of such a guideline is to understand what they need to do in order to make their own writing stronger.

Pass out copies of a sample of student writing. Ask students to evaluate the student sample and provide responses to the peer review worksheet or scoring rubric as you record them on a class copy.

Check that all students have a draft of their cause-and-effect article. Hand students a copy of the Scoring Rubric found at the end of the unit and review it with them. “This draft of your article is just your starting point. You might make major changes to it as you listen to the comments of your classmates, read their articles, and think about your own. The objective of the revision process is to make your article the best that it can be and to help others achieve the same goal with their articles. As you read the drafts of the members of your group, remember that the main purpose for this first reading is checking to see that writers

• maintain their focus throughout the article,
• include enough details about and explanation of the focus,
• organize the article so that it is clear and easy to read, and
• address the appropriate audience.

“If you have questions for the writers, ask them. And, although you might point out problems in spelling, usage, wording, etc., remember that they are not the main focus of this reading. You will concentrate on those during a later reading.”

Give students copies of a peer-review worksheet (LW-6-3-3_Peer Review.doc). Students can use this worksheet to guide their review, or you can dictate the directions to the class. The latter method could be beneficial if you need to teach a mini-lesson (e.g., one on transitions or integrating quotations) concurrently with the peer review.

Decide whether students should write on the papers of others, record their comments and questions on a separate sheet that they return to the writer, or discuss their observations with the writer. What you decide will be determined by how much experience the class has had with the writing process and peer editing, as well as by the attitude and interests of the class.

Also, if needed, review with students the points they used to double-check their outlines. Ask them to watch for the issues below while reading the drafts of their group members. (Be certain these are posted in the classroom and/or students have a copy to work from.)

• There are major points that do not support the main-idea statement.
• The article needs more major points to support the main-idea statement.
• The paragraphs are arranged in a confusing order.
• The details are presented in the wrong paragraphs or are in the wrong order within paragraphs.
• The article needs more supporting details.

Ask each group to select a particularly effective opening paragraph to read aloud to the class. Also, if any group has an entire article that the members feel is particularly effective, have them read that aloud (if time allows), and have the class discuss why it is effective.

Next, have students revise their article in class or as homework, stapling the new version on top of the old. If you note many problems as you are observing (or particularly if you are using a file-sharing program), you may decide to have them revise during the next class session so that you are available to assist them. (Keeping a folder of each student’s work, including all drafts, is an excellent reference for the student, you, and parents/guardians. The drafts and comment sheets/rubrics document the efforts and progress of the student.)

Part 2

Before students proofread the newest versions of the cause-and-effect articles, briefly review some of the problems they will be looking for. Aside from spelling and problems in word choice, they will also be looking at usage and mechanics. Practice with a proofreading exercise like those at http://www.educationworld.com/a_lesson/archives/edit.shtml.

Use a proofreading exercise (LW-6-3-3_Proofreading Exercise.docx and LW-6-3-3_Proofreading Exercise KEY.docx) as an assessment after the following mini-lesson.

Language Skills Mini-Lesson

“We have done proofreading exercises for errors in spelling, punctuation, capitalization, usage, and mechanics to help you peer edit your classmates’ papers. Let’s look at a very specific type of error; pronoun shifts. What is a pronoun?” (a word that is used in place of a noun) “Therefore a pronoun shift is when a writer uses the wrong type of pronoun, either in number or in person. For example, if the pronoun should be singular, but you use a plural pronoun, the reader will be confused.” Write these sentences on the board. “Look at this example.”

1. Lisette brought the salamander home because she liked its spotted skin.
2. Lisette brought the salamander home because she liked their spotted skin.

“Which sentence seems strange and confusing?” (the second) “Why?” (The reader will wonder whether Lisette brought more than one salamander home, or if she liked the spotted skin on all salamanders or just the spotted skin on the one she brought home.) “This sentence contains a pronoun shift in number. Since the sentence begins with one salamander, the pronoun for the salamander’s skin should be singular, as it is in the first sentence.”

Write these sentences on the board. “Here is an example of a pronoun shift in person:”

1. Since painting pictures makes me happy, I do it often.
2. Since painting pictures makes me happy, he does it often.

“Which sentence has a confusing meaning?” (the second) “Why?” (The reader will wonder whether the speaker is happy when he paints pictures for the speaker, since the speaker likes to paint pictures.)

“Obviously, if these sentences are part of a paragraph or story, the reader could make a good guess at the writer’s intended meaning, but readers shouldn’t have to do that. The writer should be clear and consistent with using pronouns. Let’s practice finding shifts in pronoun number and person with this exercise.” Hand out a proofreading exercise (LW-6-3-3_Proofreading Exercise.docx and LW-6-3-3_Proofreading Exercise KEY.docx) and have students complete the top half about cousin Becky on their own, looking for pronoun shifts in number or in person. When they are finished, have them meet with a partner to compare answers. Then go through the paragraphs and answers together, justifying each pronoun correction.

Then have students mark corrections in the Walter Dean Meyers passage on their own. Let students know that this passage contains pronoun shift issues and various other mistakes. They should mark corrections on any type of error they find. Collect these and check for understanding.

“Remember to look for any of these types of issues as you edit your classmates’ papers.”

Part 3

Have students consider transitions that might be needed in their articles or those of their classmates (see http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/transitioncues.html).

As students work in their groups to proofread the drafts, circulate among them to help with questions and to note any recurring problems. If one type of error appears to be very common, stop them and do a brief mini-lesson about it. Once the writers have their papers back (which have been read by all group members), allow at least some class time for them to ask questions.

Part 4

Have students prepare a final, polished copy of their articles, along with a final version of the works-cited list. They should also turn in their earlier drafts at the same time. The final drafts of the articles should be published, possibly on a school Web site or in a hard-copy collection for the classroom or library.

Extension:

• Students can revise the final copy of the article for publication in a format suitable for a Web site. Discuss some of the differences between articles written for a print magazine and those written for a Web site. The latter are often brief, breaking up information that would be presented as one paragraph in print into short, single-sentence paragraphs or a list of bulleted items. Web articles also often omit a concluding paragraph. Their information is presented succinctly, in an easy-to-read format, in the hope that visitors to the site will quickly read at least part of the material. Have students look again at an article especially written for a Web site; for example, http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/adopt/tips/adoption_process_what_expect.html.
• Students who might need additional practice with proofreading can access a Web site like http://www.harcourtschool.com/activity/language_arts/pmp/interactive_guide/g05/g05home.htm.
• If students (or the entire class) need more practice with proofreading, hold a mini-workshop focused on a particular problem.